and i dont care who knows.

Yesterday my son and i went to town, i needed to pick up some items from the health food shop plus my organic, vegan shower gel. We had some vouchers for subway pushed through the door a few days ago. Now i had only been in there once before but didnt like the smell, this was a few years ago, my friend and i were going to a gig and she wanted something to eat before we went in. Id never eaten there before. But, willing to give it a chance and so hard up for money as i am right now my son told me the veggie sub was really nice, off we went vouchers in Alex's pocket (im not being caught with buy one get one free vouchers from a fast food place) and my biggest handbag so no one would see me carrying a subway carrier through town.

Once in there i noticed the plastic tables screwed to the floor, sat upon them were Saturday shoppers in shell suits, lots of fake gold jewelry and nike trainers and jackets carrying plastic bags from new look and J B Sports while they munched away on these huge smelly sandwiches, washed down with coke cola and cheap free trade coffee served in plastic cups, eeewwwww shudders.

So, we join the que, im asked what type of bread i want, 'wholemeal please' i say to the assistant who looks blank at me, 'nooo lavely which one on this by ere' she replies pointing to a display of different bread types. I point to the one with seeds on that looks kind of brown (probably dyed flour but i dont feel comfortable asking if its wholemeal or not). Then she asks if im vegetarian, of course i say yes, to my surprise she changes her gloves so not to contaminate my food with dead flesh, i like that.

After that must come about 50 questions on what i want on my bread, now i always thought pate was pate, in this place it was written on the menu as patty. Now at this point my son is telling me 'no please mum its not a spelling mistake its what its called here, please let me do the talking'. So, leaving all the talking to Alex and gazing out of the window pretending im waiting for a friend as he hands the voucher over to the assistant i realise im such a fuckin snob.

The assistant shouts over to me 'goooo and get yer free drink from the machine over by there my lavely'. Shoving the sandwiches in my huge handbag (yes the one with all the badges and frayed bits on mentioned in that interview blog) i told Alex to help himself to a drink and id meet him outside, im sorry i dont do drinks machines EEEEWWWWWWWWW!

Getting home, Alex and i had a bit of a giggle about my first real subway experience and scoffed our sandwiches and i have to say dam nice they were too. The black olives im sure were the cheapest variety and the pepper not proper ground black peper but hey ho! Enjoyable.

Later that day my Tesco delivery turns up, now the wine offer 3 for £10 (and of course i always choose the most expensive in the selection) has fucked up a wee bit and the driver goes on to explain they replaced the bottle of white wine with this, revealing a carton, yes a carton of Tesco value Spanish wine £3.99. Well i accept the delivery laughing with the driver that i will hide it in the fridge and serve it when i have one of my least favorite friends round lol. He thought it was a good idea but told me i should complain to tesco as well just in case its horrible wine.

I did call tesco, thankfully the lady on the helpline was also a snob and agreed with me that it was unacceptable and has refunded me with some vouchers.

I mean wine in a carton, you cant even wrap that up in fancy paper and give to someone as a birthday or crimbo gift can you.

Later that day curiosity got the better of me and i had a glass or two, or three, or four (yes you can get four glasses out of this carton) and woooooowwwwwww! Strong stuff it is too. Ideal for smugling into festivals and gigs where bottles arnt allowed and probably great for camping YAY! But my snobery still stands and until the day comes when im in a field in the middle of nowhere in my cozy little tent the snobby me demands wine in a bottle and never costing less than £5.99 :))

I love being a snob and refuse to appoligise for it so there

:lalala:B):roll::>>;D)-o:.:crazy::wave: